In 2018 I want to get more out of my comfort zone. I won’t learn new values if I just stay in my little bubble.
This list pin points the things I am afraid to do, say, or that make me very uncomfortable. Being uncomfortable is what this post is all about! I need to grow; stop letting my anxiety take a hold of my life and dictate my choices.
Eating a meal by myself
Reading in a coffee shop
Writing in a public place
Shopping alone (not including grocery stores, pharmacies, or convenient stores)
I’m terrified to travel alone, i always have been. I worry about things like “what if I get lost?”, “what if I get robbed?”, “what if i get hurt?”, “what if I get kidnapped?” (I think I’m watching too much ID Network). All of these what ifs ping around in my head and stop me from traveling alone.what if I had a great time??
I’m always thinking people are judging me. I don’t think I’m that important at all I just think they’re judging my outfit, hair, makeup of choice (too much or not enough). So for me to sit down anywhere to eat alone brings on a lot of anxiety. My brother said he eats alone all the time and loves it. When I see someone eating alone I aspire to do it too, to tell my anxiety to go play somewhere else.
I want to tackle my reading list this year, it’s growing by the day. I’d love to be able to sit down in a chair at Barnes & Noble to read a few chapters of a new book. I don’t really know why I have a hard time doing this, there are chairs all around so obviously they want you to sit and relax.
I’d love to break out my iPad or laptop at say Starbucks and write a few posts while enjoying the coffee aroma wafting through the air. I feel like those seats are reserved for writers, researchers, and freelancers so who am I to take their seat when they have deadlines to meet and I just have a blog post to write.
I can not shop alone for more than 45 minutes. It’s like my internal clock is like “ok that’s enough, get out of here!”, it’s so frustrating! I really believe this has a lot to do with my trust level. I don’t trust anyone i see in public, i don’t know them. I have no idea what they plan to do that day. I think this is because of all the bad things happening in the news lately.
As you see my anxiety plays a huge roll in my everyday life, it is always present. When it doesn’t show up immediately it does like to make an appearance before things are all said and done.
I’d like to come out of 2018 more confident than ever. I think to do so, I will have to take on challenges (things I see as a challenge anyway), get my hands dirty, and be moderately uncomfortable to make that happen.
Is there something your scared of that you want to depart with this year? I wish you the best of luck too!