The Fear List

In 2018 I want to get more out of my comfort zone. I won’t learn new values if I just stay in my little bubble.

This list pin points the things I am afraid to do, say, or that make me very uncomfortable. Being uncomfortable is what this post is all about! I need to grow; stop letting my anxiety take a hold of my life and dictate my choices.

Fear List

Fear List:
Traveling alone
Eating a meal by myself
Reading in a coffee shop
Writing in a public place
Shopping alone (not including grocery stores, pharmacies, or convenient stores)

I’m terrified to travel alone, i always have been. I worry about things like “what if I get lost?”, “what if I get robbed?”, “what if i get hurt?”, “what if I get kidnapped?” (I think I’m watching too much ID Network). All of these what ifs ping around in my head and stop me from traveling alone.what if I had a great time??

I’m always thinking people are judging me. I don’t think I’m that important at all I just think they’re judging my outfit, hair, makeup of choice (too much or not enough). So for me to sit down anywhere to eat alone brings on a lot of anxiety. My brother said he eats alone all the time and loves it. When I see someone eating alone I aspire to do it too, to tell my anxiety to go play somewhere else.

I want to tackle my reading list this year, it’s growing by the day. I’d love to be able to sit down in a chair at Barnes & Noble to read a few chapters of a new book. I don’t really know why I have a hard time doing this, there are chairs all around so obviously they want you to sit and relax.

I’d love to break out my iPad or laptop at say Starbucks and write a few posts while enjoying the coffee aroma wafting through the air. I feel like those seats are reserved for writers, researchers, and freelancers so who am I to take their seat when they have deadlines to meet and I just have a blog post to write.

I can not shop alone for more than 45 minutes. It’s like my internal clock is like “ok that’s enough, get out of here!”, it’s so frustrating! I really believe this has a lot to do with my trust level. I don’t trust anyone i see in public, i don’t know them. I have no idea what they plan to do that day. I think this is because of all the bad things happening in the news lately.

As you see my anxiety plays a huge roll in my everyday life, it is always present. When it doesn’t show up immediately it does like to make an appearance before things are all said and done.

I’d like to come out of 2018 more confident than ever. I think to do so, I will have to take on challenges (things I see as a challenge anyway), get my hands dirty, and be moderately uncomfortable to make that happen.

Is there something your scared of that you want to depart with this year? I wish you the best of luck too!

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26 thoughts on “The Fear List

  1. I think we all seem to make ourselves fear many things and live on the what if’s. I am no exception I have a fear of wet grass and mud crazy as is. I get the fear of sinking into a bog and no-one knowing this stops me going on my grass in my own garden when it been raining.

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  2. Everyone has at least an internal fear list, but by you verbalizing them you have already minimalized the effect your fear can have on you. Just one moment at a time working on any one will help. Maybe you can break a fear down into small parts and tackle that way. For example, eating alone, what if you agree to meet someone for a meal and know they will either be late or leave early? So part of the meal woud not be alone, but part would.

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  3. Thank you for sharing! Many would fear putting their fears out there like you did! I am very comfortable doing all kinds of things alone. You will get there. Try thinking of it this way. When you do something alone, it is for you and your pleasure alone. There is no one else to please or worry about. Do what you love and enjoy it for your own sake. You deserve that!

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  4. Oh Leslie, I completely understand how anxiety can affect our everyday lives. Actually my post later this week is about anxiety. It’s been a life long battle, long before I knew what anxiety was. Have you tried any techniques to try to manage it a little? I hope 2018 is a great year for you and you are enjoying great meals and coffee shop time alone soon!

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  5. It’s a bit comforting, I must add, to know that I’m not alone. Mostly because I know I’m not weird hahaha. I also fear going shopping alone, travelling alone even if it’s somewhere not so far, and drag eating alone in some restaurant. I’ve tried eating alone but ended up finishing my drink only and asking for a take away without even touching my food, but in my defence human eyeballs are creepy when they stare at you hahaha. I am however, yet to try these things again and hopefully will overcome my fears. All the best with overcoming your fears too.

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  6. I think if you tackle even one of these fears you will be so happy. Facing your fears is so important and though it really sucks we should all do it more even. One of my fears is taking risks and one of my goals is to do that more this year 🙂 Oh and from my experience I can tell you traveling alone is awesome 😀

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  7. I love this post!! Its so refreshing to see people talking about their fears openly. It definitely helps to verbalise our fears so that they dont seem as big in my head. My anxiety is centred around people and socialising at big events. I am scared of being left on my own and feel the need to impress everyone when we all know that impossible. Because of this I tend to rely on people a lot to help me out in big social groups.

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  8. Yes yes…so much YAS. As someone who suffers from anxiety also, I know all too well how debilitating it can be to allow your fears to call the shots. I’m proud of you though, for recognizing this and wanting to step outside of your comfort zone. It’s not easy but so worthwhile! A few years ago, I flew to the Bahamas by myself, just because. I probably could have found someone to go with but I wanted to do it alone. And it was the best thing I ever did for myself. Hope you are able to experience all of these things and then some! Xo

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  9. Oh, I definitely know what anxiety is like. I’ve actually never eaten out by myself but I know my sister’s done it because she travels for work about once a month. I want to go to a movie alone sometime this year – I think that’s a good first step because you aren’t really meant to socialize DURING the movie anyway! And you should definitely try writing at Starbucks. A lot of times it’s just students or people hanging out reading, so don’t feel like you can’t take a chair and hang out! I’m usually with someone if I go, but I’ve been before to read and it’s relaxing. 🙂

    -Lauren
    http://www.shootingstarsmag.net

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  10. I like to remind people that fear is a liar and all of those things we fear, rarely if ever happen. Fear wants us to fail. There is a healthy amount of fear that we need to have but if it is impacting our life we need to push past it. PS: Writing a blog post makes you a writer. Go to Starbucks and enjoy yourself. You deserve to be there like everyone else.

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  11. I love your 2018 fear list. And hope that you overcome all of your listed fears.
    I need to exercise more and eat more healthy so these are my resolutions for 2018 as need to be health and fit to be the best parent i can be

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  12. I think that fear is always going to be there for some aspect of our lives. We just have to work through it. I have a lot of anxiety and fears as well, so I know how scary it can be. But it’s so worth it. Maybe start with the one that feels easiest to you? And remember that you are not a trespasser or interloper in the book store chairs or at the coffee shop tables. You can read and write there! You are practically invited to.

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  13. Just like you asked on my post, are we the same person!?! Haha. I see so many similarities between us. If you would like, check out my other blog posts…there’s quite a few posts about me challenging myself to do things alone! I traveled solo to Amsterdam and that was a huge game-changer for me. Now I feel much more independent 🙂

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  14. Since moving across the country for school and all that other goodness, I’ve been doing most things on my own for several years now–it did take some getting used to in the beginning, but now I have zero shame whatsoever (for better or worse, hahaha). Best of luck to you on tackling these! ❤

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  15. Leslie, this week I thought of you as I went out to eat alone. I enjoy eating out much more when I am with someone to talk with, but find I can get some quiet time to read on my Kindle when I am alone. So while I prefer company eating alone is not a stress for me. I eat alone in diners, or chain restaurants like Bob Evans. Do you fell insecure in all eating places or just some? Maybe find somewhere safer feeling to work up to the places that make you anxious.

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  16. You’ve clearly put some thought into this. I’m not sure I have a list of fears, but I do know that the list is longer now than it was when I was younger. I traveled alone without a qualm when I was 20-something, but now when I do it, I have a bit of anxiety and misgivings. However! I do not want to let that stop me! Good for you for facing your fears.

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