In This Moment

I love lists, it’s probably a little obsessive in a way. I have a list of books, list of blog resources, even an everyday check list (to help me stay focused mainly).

Anxiety has put me in a slump since last month but I’m taking things one day at a time and as different obstacles come about. I totally failed on March’s Goals so they’ve become April goals.

I have no idea what to write about, everything in my head is just swirling around like a massive CF tornado (like the kind that would fling cows through the air). I do have a few post ideas; i just haven’t sat down to write them.. or anything for that matter.

I have managed to hold down a few thoughts to write an update on my absence.

In This Moment

  • I can’t paint but I have the urge to or at least try. So I ordered a ton of paint, canvas, and brushes earlier this week.
  • I’m currently reading three different books (Big Magic, Finders Keepers, & Sleeping Beauties -Yes, 2 out of the three are Stephen King)
  • Anxiety has been rampant here lately. I can usually try to focus on different things and it calms itself but right now it’s like a toddler with a face full of frosting with no more cake. It’s angry.
  • On the way to work I’ve been listening to Woody, Wilcox, & Chelsea. People probably think I’m crazy if they see me more than giggling in my car. Their radio show is awesome, the three of them are a perfect match. They keep it funny, not always friendly, a little vulgar, which is great.
  • I’m still loving my job; it maybe weird to hear someone say they love walking through the door at work. I do though because days go by fast and everyone is so nice, even the patients (who sometimes get things removed &/or burnt off).
  • I got the nerve to change my hair color Tuesday night. I decided upon it while glancing at a beauty supply site and decided to do it. I went with an auburn and brown highlights. It’s not too drastic; just a tiny change.
  • Matt took off work last week so we were together a lot. We watched movies, binged a little Rick & Morty, even made it to a three mile walk on Tuesday after work. He has been my rock and for that I am so grateful.

I think it time to leave the paleness of winter behind so I’ve been to the tanning bed twice in the past two weeks (working at a dermatologist office I know better. My theory is tan fat is better than pale fat) however I got a little rambunctious yesterday and got in the stand up bed for 7 minutes (apparently 2 minutes too long) because I burnt a little. Last week I went for 5 minutes (it’s a 9 minute bed). I no longer look like a tomato as the tan has gone in over night.

I’ve done quite a few little things with this blog though. I want to take it up a notch and make it presentable before I send pitches to companies, which I’ve never done. Freelance clients aren’t going to come to me without me putting myself out there to be seen.

what’ve you been up to lately? If you’ve got motivation and inspiration to share I’d certainly be thankful.


22 thoughts on “In This Moment

  1. Depression has hit me so hard in the last few days, all I want to do is lay down and watch tv. Hopefully it will get better, good luck with your goals, maybe March wasn’t our month XD

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m sorry you’ve been dealing with a lot of anxiety lately. I signed up for the mini blog ahead challenge which starts tomorrow; it’s two weeks of trying to schedule ahead on your blog, so hopefully I can get some of that going. I have nothing scheduled right now and it does make blogging a bit more stressful sometimes.


    Liked by 1 person

    1. That sounds like fun. I’m going to be on the look out for a blog challenge, I’ve never done one. I’m wanting to come out of my little blog she’ll and meet new bloggers and actually make friends.


  3. I admire how open and vulnerable you are about your struggles. What I’ve been up to? My husband and I very recently adopted a cat, and I’ve found that my routine in the morning is going to have to change in order to accommodate an extra member of the household.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I am trying to figure out my life 🙂 what I want to do with my blog and how to pursue my vocation, in therapy and counselling. It’s not easy and I seem to always put myself in front of the computer with the clear purpose to search for info and how to attain a job in that field as I also require some more study, and I end up browsing blogs and watching Lydia Elise Millen … I failed my March goals too, so .. let’s blame the fact that there’s this change of seasons that is messing up our determination :))

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I too have severe anxiety. Keeps me up all night long and tired all through the day. My psychiatrist has recently put me on melatonin tablets which are great for helping me actually fall asleep and the high dose of zoloft I’m on really helps during the day.
    If you’re not interested in medication I can recommend drinking chamomile tea throughout the day and limiting caffeine intake. If not too cold where you are, take your shoes off and walk outside in the grass for 15 minutes each day, this will help you to ground yourself. Maybe take your cup of tea with you!
    You can also try wearing a Howlite bracelet as that assists with anxiety.
    Good Luck!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I know exactly how you feel. I have suffered chronic depression and anxiety for over ten years now. Luckily, I am in an upswing right now. I think this long winter has been no help!!! Go easy on yourself and if you know you are in a vulnerable place don’t put too many goals on yourself. Doing one thing is about all I can do at my worst. Sometimes that helps. The Calm app is wonderful isn’t it? When I got stressed out at work I would go in the bathroom and put it on for five minutes. I hope you find your way out soon. I don’t have any real advice because everyone is different, but I would say get outside if you can, that is always my saving grace!!!!

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Hi! I’m new here! WOW though, I could have written most of this post about myself lately!! ANXIETY is a KILLER!! Spending a lot of my day begging the Lord to help my be less anxious, praying out loud for His help!! I too am trying to set goals and work at them, but the anxiety has me ALL. OVER. THE. PLACE. and its keeping me up at night. I will pray for you sister, as I so understand this awful A word that is plaguing us both…and best of wishes to you kicking this little space up a notch, I must say it is already quite nice!

    Liked by 2 people

  8. I’ve always wanted to be good at painting … but never have been. haha My daughter is an incredibly artist, so I get a bit of satisfaction out of buying tons of supplies that wind up being put to their best use. Vicarious living at its finest. :p

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Hello ,

    I saw your tweet about animals and thought I will check your website. I like it!

    I love pets. I have two beautiful thai cats called Tammy(female) and Yommo(male). Yommo is 1 year older than Tommy. He acts like a bigger brother for her. 🙂
    I have even created an Instagram account for them ( ) and probably soon they will have more followers than me (kinda funny).

    I have subscribed to your newsletter. 🙂

    Keep up the good work on your blog.


    Liked by 1 person

  10. I don’t have much hair–so there! No seriously, you changed from what–to what? Sounds like–if nothing else—a good ramble on your day would be comfortable to many people. Even me–I write poetry about everyday things and people. I don’t paint or sketch much–hand tremor–you know–but I’d recommend at least one instructional book with illustrations to help you learn to visualize what you want to do. That helped me.IN FACT:
    The answer to good blog show,
    Is really to let yourself go…
    Just be “you”
    A section or two,
    And your blog will positively GLOW!
    –Jonathan Caswell

    Liked by 2 people

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