Happy New Year

I’m not one for New Year resolutions, I never have been. There will be no new year new me, however I will be doing a few  things differently.

Happy New Year! #newyear #optimistic #hello2019 #goaldigger #goal
  • Devise a plan & execute
  • Become more aware of my surroundings 
  • Reflect on myself
  • Take better care of my mental health

I am devising a plan for 2019, I’m hoping it to be my best year yet. I’m still trying to find my way career wise (which i feel like puts me behind), when I’m in an office all I can think about is being my own boss. This isn’t because I’m not happy with the bosses I have but because I have a passion and drive that I want to peruse and bring to life. I’m trying to put the pieces of the intricate puzzle together freestyle, I have no picture to compare it to so I am winging it more or less. I’ll be giving it more thought; which is very unusual of me, I’m usually already diving in head first.

I can’t pinpoint which it is, the fact that people are so rude or the news I see every afternoon. I am slowly losing hope in humanity and I’m considering becoming a cat. I watch way too many detective/murder shows to be off guard as much as I’ve let myself be while out mingling with the public. A bad habit I do have is scoping out the scenery to find objects that could be used as a weapon if need be (told ya, too many murder shows watched).

You’re probably going to laugh at me but until of late last year I hadn’t given any thought to reflections of myself. What happened was what happened and that was that, I didn’t dissect feelings or dwell on things. I internalize things, it’s what I do (which is why my screws are a little too tight. Pretty sure I’ll need major therapy if I dig up all the little tidbits, feelings, thoughts, emotions, etc I’ve buried in my years of rational thought). 

Oh mental health, what a very tangled web you weave. Going back to devising a plan then the execution, I feel like my anxiety is the worst it’s been in the job field. I have control over what happens while I’m at home or out in public but when I’m working things get hectic then I panic. Over the years I’ve ignored the anxiety monster however now it’s grown from a tiny little creature into a massive angry monster. Oh, it’s picked up a friend along the way as well – welcome depression. Hey, the more the merrier right? Wrong! I’ll have great days then on a random Tuesday I’ll be so overly stimulated by anxiety before I hit my snooze button twice that I can’t bare the thought of crawling out from under the blankets. Days like that random Tuesday will take discipline but at least I could work from the confines of my blanket fort.

I know the universe has its very own plan for me and I’m truly excited to see it, whatever it maybe. 

Then again I may wear a unicorn horned headband the entirety of 2019 and call it a success. 


27 thoughts on “Happy New Year

  1. I believe that the content we take in has a lot more to do with how we feel and behave than we think it does. I’ve completely stopped using Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter because over the last few years they have all become incredibly negative. Similarly, I don’t allow myself to read the news until my work day is pretty much done; by then I’ve already gotten everything done that I need to. I would say 9 times out of 10 I don’t even want to read the news anymore at that point because it’s usually just a way for me to waste time and if I’m done working, there’s no reason to waste time!
    I definitely sympathize with your depression and anxiety; mine were crippling until recently. I wish I could say there was some magic routine I discovered that got me over it but aside from giving up booze in June, I can only attribute most of my newfound motivation to medication. Fortunately I was able to work with my psychiatrist to find a drug that has zero side effects for me (in the past I had tried prozac and paxil and they turned me into a sociopathic monster). Drugs aren’t the only way, though. I sometimes wish I had the intuition to figure out how to stay motivated without them but after failing for 20 years I think this is just how it is, lol.
    Happy new year! Thanks for checking out my blog and I’ll definitely follow yours. 🙂

    Liked by 4 people

  2. I dunderstand the struggle with mental health and entering a new year. I find it hard to think about what this year might bring when I don’t know how my mental health may be, however, this year I’m planning to ride with the waves and have a more accepting attitude of bad days!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Things will be okay. What I do as someone who also suffers both depression and anxiety is that every weekend I dedicate things that I love and every night I use my journal to write a reflexion on what happened today.

    Things will be okay!

    Michelle| brokebutflawless.com

    Liked by 2 people

  4. You are definitely on the right track by focusing on yourself, acknowledging your strengths and weaknesses and looking forward to handling things wiser and stronger this year. And along the way you might find tools that really help you tolerate the anxiety and still get things done awesomely.

    Liked by 2 people

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